Rambling:Part 2

Today is Wednesday, which to me is just One Tree Hill day. And, while I'm glad that tonight's show will be a rerun because I have a hair appointment at 7:45, which means I'd miss it completely, I am sad that I cannot tape a new episode and watch it later. But, I do have 2 cds from the show, so I am not totally without my One Tree Hill fix.

Last night I ate a whole plate of Valentine's day cookies. I decided that I needed to because otherwise they would sit there and taunt me that I'm not someone's Valentine. Stupid cookies!

So, it's going to get to below zero this week. Do we even remember what that is? What's up with this stupid Arctic air coming in from the North? I'm sorry, but with all the warm weather so far this winter, I've become a wuss. I think I should move South.

Men are still infuriating.

Rambling....

I'm hoping that the $1.99/gallon tank of gas I got last week will hold out through this week. Even though gas is now only $2.09/gallon, I just like to think that I'm still driving around with inexpensive gas in the tank.

Why is it that some people go super slow in non-passing zones, but then in the passing zones, the same people speed up so that you can't pass, but as soon as it goes back to no-passing, they slow down again? How does that make any sense?

If exercise was addicting, then everyone would be doing it. And we'd all be thin. Why can't exercise be as addicting as chocolate? Why?

Why are males so infuriatingly dysfunctional in all areas of life?

I had a craving for cake last Friday, so I thought about it all day and went to the store after work, planning on buying myself a small gift cake, so that I could indulge my craving, while not overeating too much. When I drove into the parking lot, I heard some honking. I figured I had cut someone off in my oblivion to anything but cake. Here it was a friend of mine who I work out with at the store as well. I got out of my car and said, "If you're here to deter me from what I'm about to buy, please don't." I told her what I was buying, but she just laughed. Thank goodness, it would have ruined the deliciousness of my cake-indulgence if she had not approved of the minor lack of healthy eating choice.

90 Posts and Counting

Have I ever mentioned that I don't deal well with death? I'm not good with emotion and crying and I only like to do it in the convenience of my own house or room, where no one else can see. Over the past couple months I've been trying to prepare myself for the death of my grandma (which, by the way, she went to the doctor yesterday to see what else they can possible do for her, but the doctor said there's nothing. So now we just have to see how long she can hold out. She's stubborn, so I'm hoping for a long while, but my mom says we'd be lucky if she held on 'til Easter. I don't know, anyway....), but now having to deal with the death of two young boys is hard. It would be totally different if I didn't know Kris and John. But having your heart break for other people is almost as bad as losing someone of your own.

It seems, from what people have pieced together, that Bryant (John's son) was going to work that morning and was taking Grant home. Bryant works for Gary & Amy, who are super close friends and neighbors of ours. Apparently one of the boys forgot something, so they must have turned around to come back, and then Bryant, who was driving, was driving too fast and lost control. They hit a tree and the truck rolled over, but neither of them were thrown from the car even though neither one of them was wearing a seatbelt. It appears that Bryant died on impact, but not Grant. An ice-fisherman saw the accident and called it in, while at the same time Gary was wondering where Bryant was, so he called John to see what was going on, and then John went out to look for Bryant, and he came upon the scene as well. I can't imagine the horror of that - being a parent and seeing what just happened to your child.

Amy called my mom on Saturday to touch base with her and she said that Gary feels awful because when Bryant wasn't showing up he was kind of getting upset, not knowing that he'd been in an accident. Gary is a super nice guy, and I feel bad that he's feeling guilty.

Anyway, the funeral and visitation will be together for both of them. School was closed yesterday for grief counseling. Nothing like this has happened in our community before, so it's probably shocking to a lot of people.

Thank you for your thoughts and prayers. I know that they help immensly.

Colts vs. Bears (They're a bunch of big, dumb animals, folks!)

I was super excited about my weekend, because I had nothing planned, and planned on just eating and sleeping and watching t.v. Little did I know it would turn out to be such a disastrously horrible weekend.

Saturday morning the phone rang twice. The first time it was Missy (gag me!) calling to find Nathaniel. Apparently he had promised to change the brakes on her car this weekend. I think he's an idiot, she thinks he's in love with her again. But, he'll get what's coming if he keeps this up. The other phone call was from my mom's secretary. There was a car accident in our town, and the woman who does my mom's payroll's son was killed. That was horrible news and my mom was feeling really bad. Then Nathaniel finally came home and said that there were 2 boys killed, but we didn't know who the other one was, we only knew about Grant. The phone rang again and it was my boss telling me that the other boy killed was the stepson of the girl I used to work with (she had "retired" back in April to farm with her husband and stay home with her 4yr old son.) I was just horrified. I adore Kris, and her husband (who's son was killed) is a great guy.

Bryant (Kris's stepson) was the one who was driving, and the details at this point are still sketchy. I know that Grant was supposed to be staying at Bryant's house on Friday night, so his mom didn't really think anything of it when he didn't come home on Friday night. Can you imagine getting the knock on the door the next morning?

I talked to Kris's sister this morning, and Kris is doing as fine as can be expected. John's not doing so well. He feels really responsible since it was his son driving the truck. It's probably only natural to feel like that. Luckily, Kris and John's 4yr. old is staying with Kris's sister, and hasn't really caught on to what death means. They are going to the funeral home today to make arrangements. I'm assuming that everything will be held in the High School gym.

All of your prayers for the families would be greatly appreciated.

Stuck In Limbo

I have been watching Ashton Kutcher's Beauty and the Geek on the CW for the past couple of weeks since it started. I like the show because it's not about dating, it's about making people more well rounded if they're open to the experience. Last night, the guys (who are the geeks) got makeovers and some of the girls were very impressed and even went so far as to call them hot. (Granted, they're still the same people, dumb, shallow girls!! But, whatever...)

Anyway, so last night, I dreamed about the show and for some reason the guys were to pick a girl and make a "porn" video with them. Unfortunately I went from seeing the scenario in my head to being one of the girls picked by a guy. We went into a room and locked ourselves in. Luckily, we couldn't get our VCR to work. So, we didn't make a video. Thank goodness!!

What kind of dream is that?!!??

Other than my dreams, my life is pretty boring. I did watch One Tree Hill (all new!!) last night, too. One of these days Lucas will realize that Dan killed Keith, not Jimmy Edwards. And, boy, will Karen (Lucas's mom) hate Dan.......even though right now I think she's falling back in love with him. Sucks to be her!!

Oh, and did I mention that last Friday night Nathaniel and Kayla had dinner with Missy and her parents??? Apparently she's getting counseling and knows she was an idiot and was trying to apologize. She even called my mom and left a message apologizing for what she did to our family and to Kayla. That's fine, we can forgive her, but that doesn't mean that we should let her back in. If she fooled us once and she's psycho, it doesn't mean that she'll change. Maybe for a while, but people like to revert back to the people that they've usually been all their lives. So, I've been telling Nathaniel not to be stupid and not to take her back. I think he's at the point where it's been long enough out of the relationship that he only remembers the good times, and is romanticizing everything instead of remembering all the craziness and frustration of being with her. Hopefully he realizes that it's nice being on his own for a while and pursuing things that he wants to do, not what a woman wants him to do.

But, he's a boy. And boys are stupid, so I also tell him if he takes her back no one will feel sorry for him when he gets what's coming to him!!

What Does John Mayer Look Like In Bed?

The above statement was in a magazine I was reading. I've ripped it out and will be sending it to April. I read it a while ago, but being a procrastinator, I've yet to mail it. But I will. Along with an article on John Krasinski from The Office.

I attacked my brother Nathaniel this weekend. I don't know what was up his butt, but he said some mean things to me, and then attempted to apologize in a half-assed way, so I guess I jumped on him and started punching and hitting him. I don't recall the jumping part, but Justin said that I did. I have to say, it felt good to hit something, since I haven't in a really long time. But it's sad because as hard as I was hitting, it did nothing to his layers of muscle. Makes me wonder if I could defend myself if I were ever attacked.

I am on my third book in a triolgy from Nora Roberts (please, literary people, don't roll your eyes at me...I like her writing) about vampires. I didn't think I'd like a book about vampires, 'cause I don't believe in them or any kind of sci-fi crap, but I am in love with all of the characters and will be sad when I'm done with this third book. I have been only reading a chapter here and there in order to prolong the ending, but maybe I'll just have to re-read the series or something. I wish there were more books in the trilogy.

I am going to begin a lay-speaker class for church purposes on January 28th, it will last until March. I hope that it's informative and not intimidating. My mom wants to go as well, so it will be nice to have someone else there that I know. Last year at this time, my mom and I took a class on Islam (not to convert, just to be informed). I guess we are into a kind of routine to do one new thing each year. I wonder what we'll do next year??

Nothing new at all here (except that Nathaniel and Missy had dinner together on Friday, but I won't talk about that because it pisses me off, but whatever) It's snowing, so I'm not going to go anywhere today during work. I should go to the courthouse, but I'm too lazy to put on my boots and slosh through the snow. Is it snowing where you are?

Tic Tac, Sir?

So, I'm thinking that when I move away, I'll be moving North. Maybe Madison, Eau Claire, Superior. Someplace like that. Depends on where the job market is most inviting and willing to employ me. But, I do want to move closer to Kristen and April, because life is more funny with them around.

Speaking of them, Kristen wrote on her blog page comments that she's excited to give me one of my Christmas presents. She said something about she didn't know if I had it already or not, but if I did my brothers would like it. My question is this: Kristen, did you get me porn?

Ha ha ha! Sadly enough, that question came to me today during a potty break. I must not have a very exciting life if I have to sit on the pot to think up things to say.

Well, I better get back to work. Busy busy busy here. I had an awful headache this afternoon, but took some Excedrine and now I'm ready to run a marathon. Thank goodness for caffeine!! Weee!

Secret Addictions

Well, I have a confession to make. And I've not blogged about it because it probably will make me look bad. But I think I'll feel better about it if I just get it off my chest.

After I got my heart torn out, I signed up on eHarmony for a little bit of self-esteem. I figured that I'd have to find someone halfway decent and compatible with me. And who knows in today's day and age what would come of it, but I figured if I met anyone through the site, that they'd at least be close to what I'd want. I signed up for 3 months, and didn't really have any luck. Then, with about a month left to go on my subscription, I started emailing 3 guys. One guy freaked me out, so I just closed him out. The other guy and I started calling each other and talking about every other day. But then he wanted to meet. It scared me, so I kind of made an excuse about being busy, and he's never contacted me since. Big sigh of relief. Then, the third guy lives in St. Louis. He, on paper, seems perfect for me. We emailed for about a month, then we started talking on the phone. However, when we would talk it was all about him, and if I'd make a comment, there would be dead silence on the other end of the phone (unless I'd asked another question about him). I kept wanting to scream into the phone that if he wasn't going to respond then he should stop wasting my minutes!! Then, to top it all off, he started talking to his cats. A guy with cats freaks me out.

What I feel bad about, though, is that I've just kept avoiding him and not calling him, and I haven't really told him that I don't want to talk to him anymore. I think he's gotten the hint, but I feel horrible that I didn't have the backbone to just blame myself ('cause, really, I'm the one who is scared to fall for anyone ever again) and be honest. I'm a horrible, horrible person.

So, there. It's out in the open.

And, since I'm on a rampage about not being a good person, I totally have a non-Christian story to tell you. Even though it takes place in a church.

On Christmas day, 2 elderly people were killed in a town near our community. The husband shot the wife because she was sick and in a wheelchair, etc. and then he killed himself. They were not members of our church but I guess they used to live around my town, and the family asked if they could hold the double funeral in our church. So, of course, we let them. (All I'll say about them is that they were the most rude family I've ever met.) But my unnice story is about the Ladies Group that did the dinner afterwards. I was roped into helping by my mom, so I couldn't say no. But those ladies drove me absolutely nuts. One of them, instead of helping to feed the 200 people (when our church basement only holds about 75), went through all of the desserts and picked out the ones that she wanted and then stuffed them into the container she brought and set them aside. And then she decided to go through the serving line and sit in the way and eat. Grrrr. I was doing dishes the whole time because it's was someone's bright idea to use real silverwear (catch the sarcasm??) instead of disposable. And no one was helping until my mom came. I could have strangled those women. I would have totally done it differently. It's been almost a week since then, but I still am fuming over it. There is so much more, but I can't even begin to write it all down.

Oh, and I've decided to make a resolution, even though I said that I wasn't going to. I am going to save as much money as I can this year (so, no using my credit card, no concerts, no unneccessary trips, etc. (no chocolate)) because then at the end of the year I'm going to quit my job and move away. Even if I don't have a new job. I'm just going to do it, and since I'll have a cushion of financing, then I'll be okay if I don't find a job for a few months. This is my plan, and hopefully I'll refine it as the year goes on.

You'll all have to keep me accountable.

Another One Bites The Dust....

So, I have so much to say, but so little attention span to write it all. So, I guess I'll just ramble for a little bit and then hope to keep up with my posting this year. Not that I'm making a resolution, because I don't belive in making resolutions, but I figure then I won't be so boring all the time if I remember to write about stuff as it happens.

I don't know if this is dorky or not, but mom and I bought Kayla Disney Bingo for Christmas....and I have been playing it nonstop since she opened it. I am addicted to a children's game. I don't know what that says about me!!

I have also been eating chocolate nonstop for a week. I may regret it later, but for now I am thoroughly enjoying it. Christmas candy is a wonderful thing. (I suppose I should have said in moderation, but I totally don't belive that!!)

The only other interesting news I have is that Nathaniel's ex-fiance (the whore, Missy) has been calling him crying to take her back because she's apparently broken up with the guy she left my brother for. So she has no place to go, no car, and no sympathy from us. Nathaniel keeps teasing me and telling me Missy's coming over to visit. So I give him my death and evil look. Shuts him right up.

Well, anyone make any good New Years resolutions? As I said, I don't because, well, as if I'd ever keep them. Besides, if I wanted to be a better person, blah, blah, blah, I could do it any day, not just on the first of the year. I will say that no matter how many people want to set me up this year, my answer will always be a big NO! I've learned my lesson. The lesson of 2006. And thank the Lord that 2006 is finally over!!!