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Have I ever mentioned that I don't deal well with death? I'm not good with emotion and crying and I only like to do it in the convenience of my own house or room, where no one else can see. Over the past couple months I've been trying to prepare myself for the death of my grandma (which, by the way, she went to the doctor yesterday to see what else they can possible do for her, but the doctor said there's nothing. So now we just have to see how long she can hold out. She's stubborn, so I'm hoping for a long while, but my mom says we'd be lucky if she held on 'til Easter. I don't know, anyway....), but now having to deal with the death of two young boys is hard. It would be totally different if I didn't know Kris and John. But having your heart break for other people is almost as bad as losing someone of your own.

It seems, from what people have pieced together, that Bryant (John's son) was going to work that morning and was taking Grant home. Bryant works for Gary & Amy, who are super close friends and neighbors of ours. Apparently one of the boys forgot something, so they must have turned around to come back, and then Bryant, who was driving, was driving too fast and lost control. They hit a tree and the truck rolled over, but neither of them were thrown from the car even though neither one of them was wearing a seatbelt. It appears that Bryant died on impact, but not Grant. An ice-fisherman saw the accident and called it in, while at the same time Gary was wondering where Bryant was, so he called John to see what was going on, and then John went out to look for Bryant, and he came upon the scene as well. I can't imagine the horror of that - being a parent and seeing what just happened to your child.

Amy called my mom on Saturday to touch base with her and she said that Gary feels awful because when Bryant wasn't showing up he was kind of getting upset, not knowing that he'd been in an accident. Gary is a super nice guy, and I feel bad that he's feeling guilty.

Anyway, the funeral and visitation will be together for both of them. School was closed yesterday for grief counseling. Nothing like this has happened in our community before, so it's probably shocking to a lot of people.

Thank you for your thoughts and prayers. I know that they help immensly.