Deja Vu!

Ummm, remember the little "lights out" incident last week? Well it happened again yesterday! For Real! I can't believe it.....and I thought to myself, am I really in this again? And I knew it wasn't my imagination because I was in a totally different stall than last time.

I've been having weird dreams lately. One that bothers me more than the others was a dream I had Tuesday night. I was on the beach (again) and I thought to myself, "My back hurts and I should really get it checked out." So I did. In my dream, I was lying face down on an operating table and watched while the doctors opened up the skin on my butt to reveal black cancer at the base of my spine. When I got out of the hospital I was so frantic and my first thought was that I had to quit my job so that I could take Kayla to the beach and horseback riding like I promised her that I'd do when she turns ten. And then I thought, "after that I have to go to Boston with April."

It was so horrible, the feeling of urgency. Yet I was quite calm about the dying part.

I wonder what that means??