Killing me softly

Last night I had an embarassing moment. Unfortunately no one was around to see it. I think that it would have been funny to witness, had I been someone else. I'll try to recount it, but my abililty to recapture a situation through words is pretty poor, but here goes....

My dad has a shed that we park our cars in at night. There's a corn burner in there and it keeps everything nice and warm so we're pretty certain that our cars will start every morning (sometimes I don't know if that's a blessing or not.) Last night, I pulled up and got out of my car, went into the shed and slid open the huge door. This door is huge and heavy. It's almost the width of the front of the shed and just about as high. I have a tough time opening and closing it.

So, I drove my car in, got out and went to pull the door closed. When I close it, I have one foot in the shed and one foot outside and pull the door towards me, one hand on each side of the door. I got a little bit of a "running" start (I use the word loosely, since it just means I'm walking backwards kind of swiftly) and proceeded to pull it shut at a fast pace.

Then, in the middle of this, I start to slide down the door, my legs on each side of the door, and the door in my crotch. Kind of like a pole dance. I had somehow slipped on a patch of ice and in the midst of going fast, just sat down, bringing the door to a halt (which was good, because I had almost closed the door. However; here I was sitting on the cold ground, one leg in the shed, one leg outside of the shed, and the dang door in my crotch while my back was up against the stopping point. I was totally stuck.

The first thing that went through my mind was "Effin' A!" Seriously. The exact words. Then, my dogs came running up, thinking that I wanted to play, so they were jumping on me while I was tring to shove the door back enough so that I could stand up. I gave up my fight and decided I should just wait for someone to come and find me. So I sat there for a few seconds. But at this point I realize that I'm sitting in a pile of snow and ice, and that my butt is really getting cold. I was not amused.

I finally got up, got the door closed and made it to the house without another incident. If someone would have watched me, it would have been humorous. Too bad I live in the middle of no where.